Thinking they’re too fragile
They are vulnerable, but not weak. Because they are less shielded from the realities around them, they fail to see that this vulnerability is not a weakness. It gives them flexibility and understanding of situations.
HOW TO DEAL? We stop focusing on this so-called fragility. Faced with a destabilizing situation, we explore our feelings. What exactly is happening? What is really the problem? What can I do to resolve it? We become an actor in the situation again and we take over the reins.
To be ashamed
Most hypersensitive people have integrated the way society looks at them. Since their childhood, they hear that everything would be better if they were less emotional, so they end up thinking that all their social, professional, affective difficulties are due to their sensitivity. But it is by making peace with it, by accepting it and by understanding it that we will be able to distance ourselves from social weight and find our place in society.
HOW TO DEAL? Every time you say to yourself, “Ah! if I weren’t hypersensitive…”, realize that you are just repeating the ambient discourse. We do not function better if we have fewer emotions, on the contrary!
Take their feelings for realities
If everything we feel deserves to be listened to, everything we feel is not necessarily true! Highly sensitive people tend to cut the link with others a little too quickly on an interpretation that they consider correct (see “Intuition, an asset that does not do everything”, p. 60). But it can be based on a bad appreciation and isolate them, amplifying their feeling of being rejected.
HOW TO DEAL? We can train ourselves to reinterpret everything we feel: we analyze the situation that aroused an emotion by formulating another hypothesis than the one that crossed us as an absolute truth. For example, if a colleague has not said hello to us, is it because he is angry with us? Or could he also be preoccupied with something else, or late, and maybe he just didn’t see us?
Wanting to calm down at all costs
It’s almost impossible for a hypersensitive. By trying to calm down, and failing to do so, he will feel even more guilty for being what he is, that is to say nothing in his eyes, and get even more angry. It is part of his personality. To be hypersensitive is above all to be hyperactive, even if it is not always very comfortable.
HOW TO DEAL? Emptying your head when thoughts are flying in all directions is a bad idea… I suggest instead a meditation that consists of simply sitting down and doing nothing, except hearing, seeing, feeling, in order to achieve s to open up to the reality of who we really are, and to perceive ourselves in the world without trying to fight against what we feel.
* Author of Am I hypersensitive? Investigation of an unrecognized power, Flammarion.
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Here are the 4 mistakes that all hypersensitive people make
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