On paper, it’s the ideal partner, but you don’t feel anything. Conversely, he/she is not your style at all, you do not completely assume the desire that you feel for this person, but it is like this: a force attracts you irresistibly and physically towards him/her. How is it possible ? Let’s discover the laws of attraction.
It’s natural: Sexual attraction is a matter of biology and chemistry
Here, we are masters of nothing. It is the irrepressible desires that are expressed.
- Pheromones act as messengers between individuals, they partly create physical attraction. Released by the skin, the sweat, the saliva, these hormones would inform the human beings being in our perimeter of our disposition to reproduce ourselves (according to our compatibility and our fertility).
- Hormones follow, and many areas of the brain activate and secrete into the body dopamine (motivation), endorphin (pleasure, euphoria), serotonin (well-being) and oxytocin (attachment). The latter is a good friend because, as Dr. Paul Zak explains, in addition to explaining physical contact, it also reduces cardiovascular stress and improves our immune system. All this associated with spikes in the release of sex hormones (estrogen and testosterone), and the desire is there.
- The survival side of the species which, as Jean-Pierre Ternaux, neurobiologist at the CNRS, says, escapes reasoning, makes us more attracted to people with an immune system different from ours. The goal is to promote complementarity between our genetic capital and that of the other. Clever, but be careful: a good parent (a good parent) is not necessarily a good lover (a good mistress), or a good parent!
- The brain area responsible for judgment is on standby when we fall in love. This explains that !
- A genetic heritage : our history is inscribed in our genes and programs us in a certain way. This is what would explain the famous phenomenon of “love lasts three years”. Indeed, once the reproduction is assured, we have a kind of programming to ensure the development of the child until its autonomy. This period is about 3 years… After that, nothing forces the parents to stay together. Genetics then gives way to the psychic with the construction of the couple and another form of attachment linked to reason.
But then, plastic would have nothing to do with it? The resemblance to a relative either?
It’s cultural: love is a matter of taste and chemistry
“Analyzing love and desires in terms of brain imaging is Again impossible, but yes, we are already beginning to observe how the body reacts. However, love is part of the social context, that of emotions, fantasies and miracles, it is all this that maintains the myth. concludes Jacques Diezi, professor in the department of pharmacology and toxicology at the University of Lausanne.
Because we are not animals like the others and we have put behind the word “love” many other concepts. So it’s not just about the erotic desire linked to our primary instincts, we no longer simply express our animality but our humanity. And there, it is always the great mystery. We love for lots of reasons we don’t know.
There are psychosocial factors (religion, education, parental model), but it is also a question of timing: at a given moment two projections/needs fit together well, and this creates love, the couple.
Sometimes it’s a simple gesture, an attitude, a way of holding oneself or running one’s hand through one’s hair, which reminds us of the images that we have associated with desire throughout our lives, that of a first love, a vague resemblance to the father or the mother, or mere reminiscences of childhood fantasies. He or she represents what we are looking for at a time Tand then desire, a prerequisite for physical love, gives way to feelings, to love itself.
Desire or love? You will know one day!
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The DNA of desire: how is physical attraction born?
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