Dreaming of your own death or that of a loved one is commonplace. Sometimes, these dreams turn out to be premonitory.
But there are other dreamlike ways that death borrows to color our nights. Thereby, when our dreams painfully bring back the memory of those who have left us, the meaning is quite different.
Chantal Motto, psychotherapist and author of Deciphering your dreams to properly guide your life (Ed. InterEditions) comes back for us on the different translations that we can give to these visits between two worlds, although she underlines at the outset that‘there is only ever one interpretation’ and that “it is above all necessary to relate the dream to the person’s experience”.
The sign of misdirected mourning
According to the expert, this type of dream is very common, especially when you have just lost a loved one. “For many people, this fits into the grieving process“, she assures.
Through the dream, our unconscious reveals to us that a need (often buried) to make the person “come back” to better let them go is necessary. It may be a question of a discussion left in abeyance, or of an unaddressed conflicting situation.
“Obviously, it is also a dream that testifies to a strong bond between two people. This bond sometimes needs to be prolonged because the living is not yet ready to let the person go. The dream becomes the only way for her to make death exist.”, also indicates Chantal Motto.
Also, if this dream occurs several months or years after the loss of the person, this same meaning can be attached to it.
“There is not necessarily a temporality in the dream. For example, if we dream of us as a teenager, facing this person who disappeared during this period of our life, it can mean that we were never able to say goodbye and that in order to move forward, it is now essential to to be able to do it”, she proposes.
The end of a life cycle
Indeed, this symbolic presence can be the sign of an evolution that is struggling to happen, stifled by psychic barriers.
“The dream is a staged part of ourselves. Death, symbolized by the deceased person, is also a part of us, but which is in the process of being transformed to accommodate other, more mature facets”, explains Chantal Motto.
But as the dream specialist repeats, it is above all a question of relating these interpretations to her situation, but also to the other elements of the dream.
“Is it just a presence? Or is the person trying to tell us something, has a particular speech? We must look at the global, and not only at the striking presence”, she nuances.
Before a marriage, a birth or a retraining: the symbol of approval
Also, the movements and the words must be analyzed as much as the presence.
“Sometimes, these are dreams that occur when you feel particularly in tune with the person who has left: when you become a parent and want to transmit the same values, for example. But it all depends of course on the link we had with the deceased. It is very important to pay attention to the energy that emerges from the dream and how you feel when you wake up to better interpret”, continues the psychotherapist.
Finally, these significant dreams can also occur when the dreamer is at a turning point in his or her life (professional and personal) and the deceased person is one of those whose approval is expected.
“If it was someone we were very close to, a tutelary figure, we can see it as a sign that we are going in the right or the wrong way. For example, it is common to know these meetings before a marriage. That’s why the most important thing for me is always to ask myself, when I wake up, why now?
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