It’s Blue Monday and Mercury retrograde still ? If you want to panic, do it in silence, it’s contagious. Instead, do what human beings have done best since time immemorial: choose to relieve yourself of responsibility by putting the weight of existence on the stars. It’s free and it relieves, so there’s no reason to deprive yourself of it. We tell you exactly what to do to survive Blue Monday according to your astrological sign, your moon sign and even your ascendant.
Aries: awaken your competitive spirit
Who’s the boss: you, or the Blue Monday ? You ? That’s what we want to hear. Nothing better to get out of the torpor than to stimulate your feisty side. You don’t need to be an astrologer to know that you are 50% survival instinct and 50% competitive spirit. Challenge your colleagues to any game and keep score all day. Tonight, we want to hear you shout in the street: “Blue Monday: 12, Aries: 27! »
Taurus: go into hibernation
You got up with your left foot, which gracefully landed in the cat’s vomit? Upset, but stubborn, you continued the morning with the loss of your glasses and inevitably, the addition of a cloud of orange juice in your coffee? We know, you love to persist blindly and do not know how to recognize failure. Admit defeat and take out the “Taurus card”. Do what you do best: go back to bed and sulk until April. You will have plenty of time to find another job in the spring.
Gemini: Start a rumor or two
Every year, it’s the same thing. The blasé air of your colleagues during Blue Monday gives you the buzz, whereas at the base: you were in a good mood. Remember that a Gemini doesn’t let anyone undermine their desire to have fun. Today, you have the right to be the mischievous imp that you have always been. Start a few rumors at work, just to arouse the interest of your colleagues. Like an arsonist, watch the fire take hold and enjoy the show. Don’t forget to extinguish the fire before leaving.
Cancer: organize an anti-depression dinner
For once, you’re not even exaggerating that for you, it’s still a “Blue January”. The capricorn season is not your favorite and you are impatiently awaiting the sequel by feverishly replenishing your stock of cookies for the rest of the month. No question of stopping drinking for you this month: each day is enough. Host a dinner party and invite your favorite people to join you in joyous denial. Let it be said, Cancer heals evil with good flesh, not with Dry January.
Yes, it may be “Blue Monday”, but who cares when you have a “good hair day”? Your incredible brushing is witness to it: no one will come to burst your bubble of fun today. Order pancakes and force your fellow Virgos who “would like to work, thank you” to wear the crown. Bonus: Bring one of your many disco balls and cast “The Midnight Demons” whenever someone complains. The Scorpions are not at the end of their sentence.
It’s your greatest quality and your worst flaw, but today, your ultra down to earth vision of the world is your ally: abuse it. You who do not allow yourselves to be dominated by vulgar superstitions, this is your hour of glory. After half an hour of research on the concept and the invention of Blue Monday, you can make a powerpoint of it that you will send to all the people who will complain: because it is the life you have chosen to lead. You have neither the time nor the energy to be flat today, so believe in something that has never been scientifically proven, as far as the planets.
Libra: put yourself on your 31
“Sapée like never before” is your leitmotif for the day. Nothing lifts your spirits like the feeling of wearing a polished look. Without wanting to be our astrological know-it-all, there is even a cosmic explanation. Your sign is connected to the planet Venus, the star of love, harmony and beauty. Normally, your morale and your self-confidence are already 60% dependent on how prepared you are. The rest depends on how the others are dressed. And no, ban on revamping your colleagues by force. Even if “it’s a matter of life or death”.
Read also >> What are the best dressed zodiac signs?
You woke up in a good mood this morning and you found it suspicious, even frankly worrying? Never underestimate the power of your contradictory mind. Like an astrological Wednesday Addams, the Scorpio is sarcastic by default, grumpy by principle, and quiet by sheer self-preservation strategy. We won’t go so far as to say that Blue Monday could be Scorpio, but almost. Our advice: put on your most gothic finery and display your most beautiful poker face. For once, everyone is as sullen as you. Now is your time.
Sagittarius: plan your next vacation
You have just returned and already, the fine breeze of the airport hall imposes itself on your nostrils? The curious Sagittarius always wants to go elsewhere. Only one thing makes him (almost) as happy as traveling: preparing for his next expedition. The dosage is simple: fifteen to twenty minutes on a booking site or in a travel guide, and this morning noon and evening. The rest of the time, close your eyes and imagine the smell of iodine and the sound of seagulls. Attention: we did not say to imitate the seagulls in the office.
Capricorn: take an RTT
We are aware that as an overbooked Capricorn, reading these words, you almost spit out your coffee. You do not squint, we advise you to take your day. And this, to experience a new and subversive concept that you may have already heard of: rest. The exercise consists of the cessation of professional activity or requiring an energy equal to or greater than work. Intriguing, we know. Put yourself in airplane mode, take out the slippers and launch yourself into a batch of macaroons. You’re welcome.
You like to chant it loud and clear (especially in front of Aries): you are not a sheep, you. You know perfectly well that Blue Monday is only a communication strategy launched for consumerist purposes and which, each year, strengthens capitalism a little more. Be Aquarius like never before and spread the good word with vehemence among your colleagues. Blue Monday will not reach you this year. On the other hand, we do not give much to the mental health of your teammates.
Pisces: activate the “denial” mode
As a Pisces, denying reality is kind of your superpower. Today, you are allowed to use and abuse it, for your own good. Act like it’s Tuesday already and ignore your colleagues’ whining. Put on your best pair of earplugs and take refuge in your inner fortress of denial. Your office neighbor asks you how you are, despite Blue Monday? Respond with aplomb: “Like a Tuesday! »
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How to survive Blue Monday according to your astrological sign? – She
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